I know I'm not the best at thinking of names for these things. I always feel corny. bahaha.
So today was the last REAL day of school. The rest of the week is some weird schedule for finals. I am officially done with high school as of Friday the 29th. Hella excited about graduation, but also ridiculous amounts of scared.
People keep telling me not to be scared because not that much changes, but honestly that's one of my greatest fears. I'm scared that after this huge milestone I'll still be in the same place, just not attending high school. I want change. I'm ready to start my own life. I see people around me that graduated a few years ago and they are doing the same thing they were doing before they got a diploma. Working in a fast food place, living at home, and going to school with all of the same people they went to high school with (no offense to anyone. ha.) . I just want to really get out i guess.
Then I'm still not sure what I'm doing after I graduate. It's hard cus I don't want to be selfish. So do I do what I feel is really right for me, or do I do what is best for the people around me? No idea.
At the same time, I'm terrified of losing everyone. I thought I would be fine, but I'm a whole lot closer with people than I had ever expected to get. I told myself I wouldn't get attached but I mean, I see them everyday, how could I not? I tried to say goodbye to one friend of mine today and I was on the verge of tears. I hardly even really talk to him, but its just those random little conversations that I'll miss the hell out of.
So much on my mind, but there's nothing to be done about any of it right now. I guess it's time to just go with the flow. Learn to make my own decisions. Create my own life for awhile.
On a lighter note, kicked it with schmanuel and DP for a bit earlier! made my day a lot less sad. gave them their graduation tickets :D. Things like that make me excited, but still uncertain.
I've been trying to live kinda according to this the last few years. Hopefully some of it has caught on and will continue to. (I don't care if this is corny cus I'm graduating. I fucking love it.)
Wish me luck <3
(pretty sure this was my first real post that actually meant something, well in a long time anyways. haha.)