Srsly one of the most amazing/ coolest things i've ever seen.

please.

Call me one of these days.. I'll answer.

I've got a hunger twisting my stomach into knots.

My brain's repeating
"if you've got an impulse let it out"
But they never make it past my mouth


I'm sick of trying so hard.

These past few days

have been intense to say the least.
not necessarily in a good or bad way.

Life changing.
My mind was opened to so many things, things in which i had never even considered their existence. Adult emotions. There's so much more to life than my wants, needs, and childish games. I finally know what that means. I finally understand what goes on in peoples minds. There is so much more to peoples emotions than my own personal gain. A real relationship is about connection, not who wins the fight.

Drugs.
I finally saw the ugly side. Its there. Be cautious.

Reality.
Life is life. Simple as that. Its not made up of quotes and cliches. Its real.

I have never realized so many things all at once. Its scary, but hopefully I utilize it. I hope it sticks.

The funny thing is that all of this completely goes against the name and purpose of this blog. and i'm glad.

one of those nights

where everything is suddenly so real. everything is still just as jumbled, but yet its so much more clear. like you can suddenly see all of the details, but you still can't understand them. its just so strange to feel again. love, sadness, depression, happiness, bliss, an overwhelming sense of just being completely helpless. but its amazing to know that you actually have someone. someone who says they are there for you and they mean it. someone who offers you a shoulder and holds you when you cry. after all this time of feeling nothing, its like all of those held back feelings are just crashing down all at once. sometimes it hurts and sometimes the moments are flawless. regardless of whether the feelings are good or bad, its astonishing just to feel. the view is so much different from this standpoint. i can feel the keyboard as i type this. i'm not just doing it just because i happened to wander here. thank you.

schmeh.

"emily, do you know why dogs are so quick to wag their tails and cats are so quick to purr? Even the ones that have been lonely, abused, and betrayed?

Because, as is true of all animals, they were instilled with the distant awareness that no matter what the world shows them, they're still deeply loved and needed, that their presence alone has made a difference, and that in just the shake of a leg, seemingly without reason or rhyme, everything can FANTASTICALLY change for the better.

As is true of all people, except sometimes they tend to forget.

Purrfectly,
The Universe"

hello stranger.

So lately I've been thinking a bit more. With more of a clear outlook on past problems. Well things aren't really more clear, there's just new problems and old ones are easier to view from a distance. ha. So this is my apology. You were honestly my best friend for a while there and it really does suck how everything ended up. From the bottom of my heart I am sorry that I hurt you. I know you think I didn't care and that it didn't affect me, but even cold heartless assholes like me hurt when they lose a best friend. ha. I don't want things to change because I really don't think that would be healthy for anyone, I guess I just want to offer a bit of closure. I want you to know that you were one of the most important people in my life and you influenced who I am and who I will become. I still think of you from time to time. I love you and miss you. No matter what happens, don't forget that.